Or at least- that is what WEBMD has diagnosed me as having. I know, getting medical advice from a computer might not be the safest- especially as I may also have signs of a myriad of other diseases too. Not to mention my track record of self-diagnosis hasn't been exactly on par over the years (like the time I thought I was reacting to a spider bite- but it was actually shingles).
I hear what your saying- why not just go to a doctor to find out what is going on with my throat. After all, it does feel like I have been swallowing razor blades at 4am, for the last 6 days. Well, in Japan they do things a little different...
When people are sick, they do not go to the doctor, instead most go to the hospital. In fact now that I think about it, I have seen very few doctors offices around. Plenty of dentists and 'lady clinics', but a distinct lack of the reliable ol' GP. The most annoying thing about the hospital (besides the drama over something that would clear itself up in a week or two) is that it's a 30min drive away. The last time I went to the hospital was with my chicken and sweet corn soup burns, and while I thought it was a bit of an over reaction at the time, the nurse in Triage didn't think so after she saw the welts... I still have little brown, chicken shaped scar tissue over my chest and have to eat soup with a bib for fear of triggering a bout of post traumatic stress... but I digress.
The other problem with being unwell in Japan is their severe lack of working medication. There isn't quite the hard core, over the counter drugs like you get back home, the kind you could make drugs with (if one had the know how). They prefer instead a bit of hot water and lemon to cure all that ails. Needless to say that having a cold over here sucks, as the strongest thing they seem to have is just aspirin . Though the colds over here are the watered down version of what we have back home, so maybe there is something to not using enough drugs to knock out a horse.
Anyway, due to the fact that I am always up for an adventure, that WEBMD has steered me wrong in the past, that I have to yell at small children for a job and that Luke was going to the town with the hospital for class today- I decided to jump on the ol' hypochondriac train and get myself down to the nearest hospital to complain about my sore throat (eye roll).
Turns out, that hospitals are practically closed on the weekend. Front entrance is shut up tighter than a chastity belt, which leaves only the emergency entrance. I kept thinking why on earth would anyone go to a hospital without any serious injury (chicken soup or otherwise), but our friends and co-workers all went there for a variety of reasons. I went in an felt like a right doofus, saying to the receptionist- "Hello. It's not an emergency (well, duh) but I have a sore throat".
After filling out forms I went into the waiting room, expecting it to be much like back home- people in casts, with nails sticking out of their foreheads or BBQ burns down their seared arms- instead it was just like a doctors waiting room. Full of people who might be sick, but were in no means need of emergency treatment. At least that made me feel a little better.
After an hour or so I got into see a doctor and still felt like an idiot. I knew enough not to be demanding, but if I was back home I would have done a simple, "I've had a pus infected, swollen throat for the last 6 days and I can't swallow, please give me some antibiotics so I can be at my best to yell at people on Tuesday- because swallowing honey isn't working". Instead, I stuck a small strip of paper under my arm. It was awesomely cool- it took my body temperature using little bars that changed colour. The only problem was giving the slightly sweaty strip back to him. After I answered the usual questions, he kept asking me if it was okay to do stuff (mind out of the gutter). May I listen to your heart beat? May I take your blood pressure? All the while I was looking at him strangely thinking "duh, your the doctor, go nuts". Anyway, he examined away and then he was like "you're going to need an X-RAY". I repeated the word x-ray back to him to be sure (I love it in Japanese, it is 'rentogen', which sounds like a ray gun to me so super easy to remember). I really wanted to ask him why the hell he was taking an x-ray for a sore throat, but doctors (also known as Sensei in Japanese) are never questioned.
They were very polite. Asking me to strip off my top half and then put on a sexy grey hospital bonds shirt to have my throat and chest x-rayed (I'm just glad the shirt fit). After that was done it was a bit more waiting and then the doctor came out to talk to me.
"Hmm. We think it's a cold, what would you like to do?" He politely asked.
"Umm, what do you recommend"- I replied, because I didn't know the Japanese for 'I would like to die quietly of shame' (I might have been able to fudge something, but it would have been lost in translation).
"If it gets worse, then on Monday you should see a doctor again."
I nodded and thanked him and made a slightly red and quick exit (and then waited another 35mins before I could pay; Japanese bureaucracy).
So there you have it. $60 later, red faced and diagnosed with a case of a cold (though I am still not convinced that a sore throat before a cold should last 6 days). And the final score is-
WEBMD- 0
Cassie's shame- 1
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